Things you should not do aboard the GSS Stargazer
by zachary.techman
Summary: Aboard the good ship Stargazer, the crew has a set of rules that should be followed. multicrossover.


Things you should never do while on the G.S.S. Stargazer.

Hello everyone, not sure where this one should go, but it is definitely a trek story, so it will go either in TNG, Tos, or 2009. Every one of my people from the golden sword guardian groups has been put inside, including people from the secret team I'm planning on revealing.

Also I'd like to point out that guest characters also appear. Whom they are, I'll let you know, should you want me to continue this.

Do not scream the phrase, Mutant! when captain Picard enters the bridge.

Do not compare Larten to Edward Cullen.

Do not replace Zero's sword with a wooden replica.

Do not make fun of Namek or Vulcan.

Do not make Angel become Angelous.

Do not host a Deadite tea party.

While he's on this ship, don't ask Necrosabor where he hides his stash of concoctions.

Do not engage McCoy in a game of operation.

Gambling against Larten is not aloud.

Nor is a drinking competition, This goes for you, Scotty and Jim!

Don't compare Green Arrow to Hawkeye.

X isn't on this ship, so we ask that you stop screaming his name out when Zero walks out the turbo lift.

Do not deprive Ash of his chainsaw and prosthetic hand.

Do not set Necrosabor and Doctor McCoy against each other in a battle of science vs magic.

Don't interrupt meditation between a namekean, Vulcan, and Aura guardian.

On the subject of Lucario, do not scream Mewtwo is coming! When he steps on to the bridge.

Don't mention Q to any of the senior staff.

Larten's Neo-vari is not to be used as a boomerang, and as such is hidden for obvious reasons.

Cosplay the silver sword guardians at your own risk, but don't come to us if you get a special beam cannon embedded in your skull.

Replacing Bones Hyposprays is a bad idea.

Taskmaster's touchy about his past, so don't bring it up.

Making fun of deadpull is not a good idea.

Ryu's uniform is irreplaceable, so if you decide to redecorate it, run!

Don't scream "I'm gonna wreck it! when Larten arrives on the bridge.

Do not try to paint Nero's hair.

Don't ask Niko about his degrees at Lights bridge.

Tris is a powerful mage, screw with her at your own risk!

Challenging every single 1 of the swordsman on the bridge to fencing is a bad idea.

Do not teach Piccolo about the teachings of Surak.

Don't play with Nero's Devil arms.

Do not leave Picard alone with a screaming child.

Don't invite Larten to the equator.

Locking Larten in the turbolift alone is not advised.

Don't ask the senior bridge crew to do any escape routines.

Bouncing on the replicators is not a good idea.

Growing fungi in the botany labs is illegal.

In a battle of batlyphs vs staffs, batlyphs win, no exceptions!

Do not prank a vampire.

Robbing Bones of his pecan pie is a bad idea.

Do not replace any of the crew's communicaters with toy replica's.

Do not blast music through the intercom systems.

Do not ask Necrosabor to bargain with a demon for a cup of pudding.

Hiding Jean-Luc's Earl Gray is a sin.

Stealing Necrosabor's pocket dimension is a bad idea.

Hayato's beamsword is not a toy.

Don't play with Gambit's cards.

While on the subject of Gambit, don't ask him to sign you're yu-guy-o deck or anything relating to it.

Giving him excuses to blow up something will not be tolerated on this ship.

Don't offer Larten a book.

Do educate Larten in Vulcan poetry.

Do not hook up Zero with a female android.

Data's not here, therefor please stop referring to Zero as him.

Do not question Who Picard is talking to when more than 1 first officer is on the bridge.

Do not scream It's Vergil! When Nero arrives to talk with the current officer on the bridge.

Do not stick Bones on a shuttle.

Do not ask Larten to pilot said shuttle.

Do not hide away Larten's bottles of blood.

While Joanna's on board, there will be no cursing.

However, if Bones X is on board, you can give her hell!

On the subject of Phasers vs swords, do not try…

Don't jump off a cliff while trying to save a child.

Tribble choirs are cute, but we prefer you to leave them off this vessel.

Do not defend Traaz's actions.

Kurda Smalt should not be defended either.

Do not bring a product labeled 'Borg' on to the vessel.

Do not bow down to Picard whispering You have returned, lord Locutus.

Do not antagonize Jim into a prank war.

Do not engage Spock in a logical debate.

On the times Lieutenant Riker is here, do not paint his hair.

Do not lock Larten in a sun tanning room.

Leave Bones Magnazone alone!

Do not ask the computer to flick the lights on and off repeatedly.

Do not keep Ash from inventing on the fly.

Do not invite Lore to your birthday party.

Hayato's beam Katana is no Lightsaber.

Do not schedule Larten or Bones to have some time with Doctor Fill.

Do not ask Zero to participate on The Weakest Link.

Do not force Larten to use a transporter.

Do not ask a Romulan to any of the gatherings that take place aboard the ship.

Do not teach Ryu the raging demon.

Do not ask Niko to cosplay Niko Di Angelo.

Do not bring up Tarcis IV around Bones or Larten.

Do not hide Bones Burban.

The same goes for Larten's ale.

Do not do the cupid shuffle inside the captains quarters.

Do not shove Larten into a pit of oil.

Do not ask Larten about his scar.

Stalking a half demon is bad for your health.

Do not make fun of the green duo in that of Piccolo and Spock.

Do not have Necrosabor host a crewman's wedding proposal.

Do ask Picard to let Larten in on the federations history.

Do not ask Bones to sing karaoke.

Do hold concerts with those whom are musically inclined playing there instrument of choice.

Do not give any of the crewman apples every day.

Do not convince Larten that no win scenarios are possible.

Do not make Bones stare out into space.

Do join Larten in regards to stargazing.

Do not program the replicators to serve stale bread and bat broth.

Do not get the entire crew to try fear factor.

When Jim shows his face on the Stargazer, do not give him ideas to try when he is board, further more, do not let him brew anything he finds in the botany labs.  
>Do not call Aeon an abomination.<p>

Okay, that's all the rules I'm writing for now, let me know what ones you'd love to see me break, what ones were funny, and if you wish me to add more.


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